Unknown

Wanting to make a difference is a childhood desire of mine. Since the age of four, I knew that one day someone would discover my uniqueness and inspect me for the sake of the world. Then, I would gladly offer myself to them even though it may involve the restriction of my contact with society. I honestly want to make a difference. I do. However, unfortunately I have grown a habit of seeking for motivation before I do any task. Or sometimes, inspiration. I tended to have a writer's-block of my own, when I need to perform any sort of responsibilities of mine. I tell myself while sitting in front of the window, or monitor, "In the next 5 minutes there would be a sign for me to wash the dishes." Or even, if I am actually going insanely spiritual or just lazy, I would believe, "if the task was meant to be done, the task itself would do it itself." Logically that is correct. However, the chances of my inspiration being fulfilled goes right down the drain. Sad?

So to amplify my demonstration of seeking an inspiration of performing something, I would tell a story of mine.
Once, I was just sitting in front of the computer, listening to my jazz music. Dancing, bobbing, moving like any normal human would move when they hear good and lovely music. Yet at the other side of my mind (the part that keeps tracks of responsibilities), there seemed to be a flash going on: go fold the laundry, go call him, go do you hw, etc. Then the other side of my mind (the part that is enjoying the music and dance) would respond to the responsible mind, "Well, give me an inspiration or motivation. Show me how important you are! Show me!" Then during the process of dancing and listening to music, there would be a constant battle happening within me. This situation has happened to me so frequently, that I just tend to ignore it, and do something else.

There are two purposes of this story of my mind. 1) I would like to demonstrate how lively my mind is. It is not dead and dumb. I do have things happening in there, and quite rapidly and intense.
2) this situation demonstrates how special I think I am. I believe that I am the only person that has this type of process happending in my living body. I wish that by posting this "story" of mine, I would be discovered. Then I can prove that it takes motivation and inspiaration to make a difference. :)